2 periods: 11.13p.m - 12.45a.m

What happens when a 21 year-old girl, who is on the cusp of adulthood and (who thinks she) is loaded enters a makeup store full of ditzy colours and full-blown pictures of flawless people with nice rainbow eyeshadows and glossy lipsticks?

What happens when that girl brings along her weirdo 17-year-old sister who is getting fatter because is stress like fak?



They bought make-up enough to makeover an elephant into Queen Latifah.


What happens when the girls turn into 6 year-old kids at night?



They want to wear make-up and look like trannies. One of the trannies got a hickey. Spot the tranny. $3 je bang.


What happens when the trannies have a camera?



They take pornstar pictures.
(Gambar sek maknanya pose conjoined head dengan dinding seperti diatas. Trend baru.)


What happens when the pornstars discover they look like pornstars?



They take even more lesbopornstar pictures.
(Suka eh kau, Ya.)

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If you all nak tahu,
We are the mystery behind Misteri Jam 12.
We are the ones who goreng the keropok for Nenek Keropok.
We shot the universe and called it the Big Bang.
We caused the eclipse.
We know your mother.
We are your begedil to your mee soto.

And we know you love us.






*campak tong taik at nonsense purposeless anticlimatic poetry*

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kjahr9ry9kadn

I'M DRIVING MYSELF CRAZY.

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Can't Live

The boyfriend took off for Bangkok early this morning.
And I am already missing him so terribly.
I couldn't bring myself to go to school so I called in sick (ok no, bedek. I already planned not to go school today :D)

I missed our random calling hours.

I missed calling him at 7.30a.m just to hear him huffing his way to his company's morning exercise and panting 'I got exercise now I call you back k'. Hehe. Morning exercise. In his sand-coloured uniform and workboots. Hehe.

I missed calling him at 9.01 a.m just because I am bored. And I get a hyper GOOOOD MORRRNING AYAAANG GEMUUUUKKK. Because he will be out near the noisy machines and thinks no one can hear him. So I will have to tolerate him talking in caps lock throughout our conversation. 'WHEEEE AYANG I FEEL SO FREEEEEEEEE'.

I missed calling him at 11.32 a.m. just because I feel like calling him. Only now he'll be talking in half whispers in abang-abang voice because his office is filled with his abang-abang friends. And I always will make him say I love you because he won't. Apparently abang-abangs don't say I love yous on the phone *rolls eyes*. I will threaten him to say it until he'll say something like lummnksyou. and I'll ask him to repeat over and over and over until I get a decent love you. Then I'll ask him to give me a kiss. That's when he'll say okgotogobye and put down the phone.

I missed calling hin at 12.32pm to get a Cik ayam satu instead of a hello because it's his lunch. And I have to wait until he has finished his order then I will go kenapa you pentingkan makan daripada berbual dengan i? Then he will say Bukan sayang, i pentingkan you sangat tapi I kan budak yang masih membesar, I cepat lapar, you tanya kawan-kawan I.... then I will go sudahlah, pergilah makan. lain kali bila nak kahwin, you cari ayam masak merah, jangan cari i. bye. then I will hang up.
I like picking fights with him.

I missed him calling me at 2 pm to apologise for eating before talking to me. But I will play hard-to-get.
Kalau you call, I put everything on hold for you tau. I nak berbual dengan you 5 minit pon you tak bagi. HISH.

But he will always win me back.

Hehe. I tanak kahwin dengan ayam masak merah... I nak kahwin dengan you pasal you lagi sedap daripada ayam masak merah.
How can I stay angry you tell me.

I missed him calling me at 2.43p.m just to tell me he's going to take a nap.

I missed calling him at 2.45pm just to disturb his nap and force him to talk to me.

I missed calling him at 3.30p.m to hint to him that I want to see him tonight.

I missed calling him at 4.00p.m to remind him of the hint.

I missed calling him at 4.30 p.m. to get a little angry at him for not getting the hint. And ask him directly whether he wants to see me tonight.

I missed him calling me at 5.45 p.m. to try to pacify me for not being able to meet me because he has swimming/gym. I will spitefully tell him that he is an obsessed exercise freak.

I missed calling him at 5.50p.m to say sorry and that I support his exercise regime and that I miss him and to drive safe.

I missed him calling me at 6 p.m. to tell me that he has cancel his workout and he is on the way to meet me for dinner.
:) :) :) :)


I missed calling him at 6.23p.m to ask him where are yooooooooouuuu because I hate waiting for people.

I missed him calling me at 6.30p.m to tell me he is downstairs and hurry ayang hurry i'm hungry!

I missed him calling me at 11.34p.m. to say he's home safe and is now going to bed and that he enjoyed the night with me and that he loves me more than I love him.


Oh my god. I miss that boy.
How am I going to survive til Wednesday???

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Misanthropy

There are days when I find myself as reclusive as a frog living under a rock

(katak dibawah tempurung?).



I'll avoid meet-ups, gatherings, outings. I'll avoid phone calls, smses. Ok, even on normal days I really cannot be bothered much to reply smses or pick up calls. Haha.

I won't feel like talking to anyone. My mind will be as witless as a wallaby's. If I see a friend walking my way, I'll walk in another direction. I'll rather bask in my own filth on my bed, doing nothing and communicating with no one.



But I, like a Sultan, will choose only 2 person to be my dancing monkey and entertain me in my solitude days. They would be the sister and the boyfriend and no one else. Isolation is afterall the cruelest punishment for a human being.

These are my anti-social days.



Friends who know me care enough to endure the introverted me. Like poor Alison baby who is so enthusiastic about life and can only roll her eyes when I tell her that I am in those moods when I just want to be alone.

Then suddenly, within the click of a switch, my mood can change and I will bounce around trying to organise meetups and outings and gatherings and go on a fb-wall-posting/commenting rampage on friends' status, quiz results etc etc.

Like now. How suddenly my adrenaline rushes me to blog multiple posts in one day.



But I need my reclusion, my own Zen world. It is the time when I can simply drift about the world without thinking too much about everything.

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Feel the Heat

I have a love-hate relationship with getting sick.

Love when the weighing machine tips anti-clockwise by 3 pointers. Albeit it's an unhealthy way of shedding the kgs. But still. It works faster than my crash and burn workout/diet regimes. Huhu.

Anyway, I will only remain at that elusive weight until whatever I eat/drink does not taste like bitter mucus. Which is soon. Today I could tell I'm eating bits of meat in the begedil and not my own nose bog.

Love the transformation of my voice to sexy-raspy Ella. But some people might just call it sengau or phelm-coated larynx.

Hate getting sick because there will be millions of microscopic oompa-loompas stomping around my brain in spiked boots.

Hate getting sick because it will prove Mum's hypothesis about me eating unhealthily to be true. But it's so not true. I've got an upper respiratory viral infection (i love diseases with chim names. it helps generate more pity :D ) and I cannot see link between my eating LJ's Chicken Bonanza Meal more than home-cooked food related in any way. She feels triumphant nonetheless because Mums knows best -__-

And oh yes, $46 flew right into the clinic's ka-ching for a mere 5 minutes diagnosis. Yucks. But I'd rather pay that much than $15 for some stupid paracetomol, long queues and dingy waiting areas with no aircons at the polyclinic.

And you know, some people say that when you fall sick, you have to be thankful because it shows that God remembers you and it's His way of showing that He cares about you.

Hmmm.

I love blogging! I feel so empty just by thinking how much I'm starving this blog.......

And is it just me or do I see an influx of bob-hairs nowadays? Like at every turn, regardless of age and face shape, I could spot at least 3 women with the same hairdo. Ergh. It irks me when I am caught in the middle of an ongoing trend. I want to be original! (attention seeker speaking)

I think it's time to bleach my hair purple.

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The 232th Visit to the Zoo + Bad Hair Day

(Haha sempat selit Bad Hair Day pasal tahu muka dalam gambar semua boyak)

The dad had been bugging to go to the zoo for 3 weekends consecutively. Yes, the dad. Not my 4 year old niece. Not my 7 year-old boyfriend. But my 59 year old Daddy dearest.

Poor deprived daddy.

Boyfriend was being a darling ass-kisser.
'Yus, fetch nabilah and hafiz at 9 am then fetch ikah and syafiq at home'. Yes, Cik Saad.
'Yus, go buy water'. Yes, Cik Saad.
'Yus, my jokes are funny right?' Very funny, Cik Saad, Ha!Haaaa!.
'Yus, can you send all the kids home?' (2 at Jurong, 1 woodlands, 3 at Bukit Panjang). Ooooh cannnn, Cik Saad, No probzzz My favourite hobby is going one big round around singapore.

All in the name of luuurpp.
Hahahah. Best.

BFFs-Loves muchs:



Hmm. Suddenly my dad looks like an old gay pervert targeting an underage boy. HAHAHAHA. Oops.

There is only one kid in the group valid to be called a kid. And sepatutnya only he is allowed to think that 1 pound of gold is heavier than 1 pound of cotton. Or say stupid things like: Eh snakes will choke if they eat humans you know.
Muka boleh sweet-slash-sachok tapi otak jangan tebal macam peanut butter



Understand or not gang? Thaaaaaaanks.

Besides the dad, we were also out to entertain my 11 year-old cousin, Hafiz. Who looks underage due to malnutrition because is put up for l2-hour-shift labour work at the holocaust 7 days a week.
Tapi pandai pulak bergaya si hang kebun ni.



He also eats like a monster.
*puts on Dora the Explora voice*
Can you help me count the number of times Hafiz ate during the outing?

*puts on Dora's annoying monkey friend's voice* Uno.. Dos.. Tres.. Cuatro.. Cinco.. eh eh... show off Spanish pulak monyet annoying ni.


Eat so much still skinny like Stick Insect. Grr. So unfair.

First thing he did was to wear my hat and my sunglasses and so took all my sun-protections and so I am now 100 shades darker and so you now cannot differentiate between me and my shadow.
(Eee stoppit eh ikah. suka exaggerate tau you ni)



Cute ada, macam lalat punya jason mrazz pon ada...
Tapi takpa. Asalkan gumbira.

But, what really makes this boy happy is to volunteer himself during the animal shows and sitting at the splash zones -__-"



So he got to feed Philip the Seal and let Philip kiss his head and make his hands smell of fish and also make a joke while he was up there:

Host to another girl volunteer: So what's your name?
Girl: asd-gan
Host: Megan.. ok. Where are you from, Megan?
Megan: shdakong
Host: Oh hong kong. Ok, welcome, Megan. How about you, little boy? What's your name?
Hafiz: Apitz (dehni lidah pendek skit)
Host: Ok Hafiz. And where are you from?
Hafiz: Jurong West.

Best part was, the host was speechless for a moment because he didn't know if Apitz was trying to act smart or not. Hahaha.

Host after regaining composure: Ok for those of you who are wondering, Jurong West is in Singapore. *shakes head muttering: Jurong West... sheesh... haha*



Poor Hafiz. A joker when he doesn't even try. But when he does try, you want to put him in Dora's backpack with that annoying monkey and throw them to Albastros Land (???).


Ok enough of that underdeveloped child slave.
To the animals.
It's funny that no matter how many times you go to the zoo, you will never fail to be amazed by the animals.
When you think of it now, it seems kind of stupid to go WAAAH! And snap 1001 photos of the farting giraffe.
But when you are there, it's just... amazing.



Also, you can start naming the animals you like and feeling-feeling you're going to take them home.



Hai. Binatang pon tanak dengan aku kalau dapat nama-nama cam gini eh T_T

Oh and don't only look out for the free-ranging orang utans coz there are some things you might miss. Like this SUPER GORGEOUS eyes of an Indian woman, a BEAUTIFUL white peacock showing off, a cute chubby kid throwing tantrum and a woman who looks like Attila the Hun from Night of the Museum.



Ok the last part tak baik. Because the woman had a very very pleasant face. It's just that the similarities are so.... close.
Ok nehmind D:

Ooo! And we were lucky enough to be right on time for the feeding of this dinosaur crocodile.



So the dad was happy that he got to see his Big Big Animals. Mati-matian nak tengok Big Big Animals only. Mousedeer, Tree Nymph, Cuckatoo semua tanak. So we had to trick him many times e.g: by saying that there are more Big Big Animals in the Fragile Forest padahal dalam ade kupu-kupu yang ceria warnanya dan binatang kaum King Julian dan fruit bats.



And of course, the kids enjoyed themselves plenty too :)
( Ok be perpared to see Bad-hair-day girl D: )



There are more but I need to break my spine first before I can upload everything.
You all also will have to break your spine before you can complete reading this post.
But I cannot end my showcase of marvellous camwhorings without this wonderful collection of muka stoppitseh:



HAHAHAAHAHA.

Suke eh ketawakan muka buruk orang. Tsk.

Okkkk so what's the best best best part of it all?
Is it getting free food? The cool and compromising weather? Looking at the smiling faces of sea cows? Got lucky enough to see elephant, the ocelot, and a kangaroo pee?
Perhaps all of the above...

Perhaps also...
seeing a stranger fit perfectly in the family pictures



:)






YAY BESOK HOLIDAY!

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