I am a very weird girl. Alot of people who know me will tell you that.
And I don't deny it.
When I got nothing better to do, like watching a schoolkid who is sitting infront of me in the MRT dig his nose and then rolling it and rolling it and then look at it with satisfaction and then go at it again with renewed vigour, I will reflect upon myself. And many times I realise that I am really quite an oddball.
Because I am in a spanking good mood today, I will share with you this valuable information about myself. And it is valuable because one day, if I ever become famous, you can quote this post and sell it to the press and make money from my defamation.
I would only write down the most weirdest things about me simply because if I were to write every single weird thing, there'll be chronicles which will make J.R.R Tolkein and J.K. Rowling run for their monehh.
Ok. So. Let's begin from the early years when I first started showing symptoms of mental breakdown:
And I don't deny it.
When I got nothing better to do, like watching a schoolkid who is sitting infront of me in the MRT dig his nose and then rolling it and rolling it and then look at it with satisfaction and then go at it again with renewed vigour, I will reflect upon myself. And many times I realise that I am really quite an oddball.
Because I am in a spanking good mood today, I will share with you this valuable information about myself. And it is valuable because one day, if I ever become famous, you can quote this post and sell it to the press and make money from my defamation.
I would only write down the most weirdest things about me simply because if I were to write every single weird thing, there'll be chronicles which will make J.R.R Tolkein and J.K. Rowling run for their monehh.
Ok. So. Let's begin from the early years when I first started showing symptoms of mental breakdown:
- I sometimes think that whoever I am seeing in my reflection is not me. I would look into the mirror so hard that I suddenly won't recognise myself and this is when my Ustazah's voice would echo in my head: "Badan kita ni adalah suatu pinjaman... satu hari nanti kita harus pulangkan kepada Allah s.w.t" (dalam bahasa baku pula itu) And then I would look up to the sky expecting to see a sign that God acknowledges that eerie Ustazah's voice in my head and then I would feel so scared that I won't look at my reflection for the rest of the day.
- When I did naughty things and was severely punished, I tried to make pacts with devils. I usually do this in the toilet because my mum always said "Setan-setan selalu suka duduk dalam tandas" when after 2 hours I was still in the toilet making bubbles by clamping my soapy hands together and opening it sloooowly and then trying to blow the bubble out. Always failed. Anyway. I would make pacts like these: "Ok, I will be your friend, but you must not hasut me to do naughty things ever again, ok? Please?" or when I REALLY pissed someone off real bad that day, I would angrily scold my demons: "Why are you always making me do naughty things? I told you I will be your friend!"
HAHAHA. Sumpah I'm not making these up. I sumpah gila want to be BFFs with setan so that I will be a good girl. Ironic much. Cute much. Freaky much. You decide lah hor. Warned you already this is Meet Atikah the Strange Session.
- Because my family didn't own a swimming pool, I would squeeze myself in a large pail filled with water. It is possible, really. I still got space to play submarine wars with toothbrush and toothpaste. And I would just stay there happy until someone yelled at me to get out of the toilet.
Come to think of it, it's quite a sad picture. If ever someone caught a picture of me like that, it would had sparked worldwide outcry at the deprivation of singapore kids having no swimming pool of our own because we all are living in beehives and then the governement would decide to destroy all hdbs and we would all be living in single houses with swimming pools in our backyards and then there would be no space in singapore for foreigners to stay so we won't have the issue of foreigners taking up our jobs now and we might perhaps develop love for Cheenoneh people. But I digress.
And to think I hid such a sad sad demented brain behind a cute cute face.
- To be continued-
P.S: Ini bukan nak try create suspense eh. Ini pasal sekarang dah pukul 2 dah and mata ngantuk and padan muka siapa suruh start tulis benda merepek macam gini pukul 1.30 pagi. Hish.
